Engaging with the small alien in your midst can be difficult since you may not understand exactly what they like or think about.  This exercise can be a playful back and forth that lets you know the smaller creature.  We do 10 or 15 before we get bored. This is not for times of actual choice, this is for times of fun. These are good in the car, right up there with “I spy something with my little eye . . .” Which do you like better, yellow or blue? Of course this can change, so it’s fine to ask on different days.  And use different colors.  Wild colors:  “Pinkish purple or greenish blue?”   Which do you like better, trees or bushes? Threading the needle on arbitrary or related items is what we are called to do in life.  Sometimes you can ask why, but not every time.  It’s not an exam.  Which do you like better, 6 or 34? See above. Who do you like better, Tony or Sam? Sounds dangerous, but can really get at interpersonal dimension...

  I am 72 years old.  Valerie, my daughter is 5. When we are out and about and come across people who engage us (usually because Valerie is so cute).   Several things happen. People mistake me for her grandfather about half the time.  The other half of the time they don't offer an opinion.  Once, a woman smiled and asked whether I was Valerie's grandfather or great-grandfather.   Women are charmed and usually remark about how this must be keeping me young. Men say "What were you thinking??" with a bemused smile.  People are having kids later in their life, so I thought I would add some unsolicited advice to the mix.  This website/blog will have things added regularly, so stay tuned.   There are many dimensions to explore: Valerie's (much) older siblings. Valerie's birth story and her niece who is her genetic sister.   How having parented once already changes some basic attitudes about what is important.  Specific learnings...